It has been a little quite on the business front as the rest of my life in the last few months has been in absolute turmoil. After many years of being unsettled in my current environment I finally made the decision to relocate to Melbourne. To most it seemed like a bold move. To others even idiotic however my heart was yearning for a change and although incredibly frightening I took a leap and did the boldest thing I have done in my life so far.
Life over the last few months has dished me out plenty of curve balls. I have been tested, challenged, and I have doubted my own inner guidance. I have been forced to surrender to the unfamiliar and encouraged to trust in something larger than myself. Alongside my own fears and challenges I have had to support my three children through their own process of grief, loss, excitement, fear and change. My move to Melbourne has forced me pull out more tools from my bag of tricks than I ever thought possible.
Prior to packing up my home of 10 years I tested positive for glandular fever (no doubt stress related). With less than 2 weeks to move, I was so sick I could barely get out of bed. To add to that a few weeks prior I acquired a back injury. Once again I was laid up in bed unable to move let alone think about packing up a house to move to Melbourne.
Realising the Dream
Now as I reflect back on that time, sitting in my new home, I wonder I how I did it. It was the first time I have ever had to pack up a home by myself let alone being haunted by illness every step of the way. I am in awe at the realisation that no matter what, things do always work out and fall into place. There are always bumps along the way to distract us and put us off course. Somehow though, through perseverance we will always manage to find our way.
In my new home, new environment it all feels like a bit of a dream. For so long I have wanted this move to happen and now here I am living it. Sitting here now I can reflect that when you want something hard enough, long enough, sure enough, it will happen. Never loose sight of the dreams that you have in your head. Start to take action towards making them a reality. For many years, moving to Melbourne was an impossibility. I had no idea how I would be able to afford to make it happen let alone live when I moved there. My life in Newcastle seemed all too easy. Sticking to what was familiar and comfortable (but not fulfilling) seemed the easiest option.
The Move to Melbourne
The niggling sensation to move never left me though. Deep down my soul was restless. Despite my many attempts to make good of where I lived I could never rest on this being it. It started with a conversation, then another, and then the thought, the idea began to germinate. Impossibilities started to become possibilities, no’s became maybes. Eventually with small baby steps, fantasies became reality.
Almost 2 months in now, I am still finding my feet. It will take some time. My heart breaks often when my youngest cries himself to sleep, begging to go back ‘home’. My daughter tells me of her new friends who are ‘different’ to what she has known as she says ‘I don’t really get them’. Or when I hear that my son has spent another day playing on his own in the play ground. I have questioned often whether I have made the right decision. Instantly however that little voice inside shuts me down. I am reminded that any change is challenging, it will take time. And here I am creating a new exciting life for my children despite the difficulties they face now.
So at times with trepidation, I keep moving forward, carving a new life for myself and my family. Trusting that this place called Melbourne is now my home. New baby roots are still grasping in the air, desperately attempting to plant themselves whilst at the same time flying about wanting to take off back to all that they have known. As the seasons change, and time moves on the unfamiliar slowly becomes familiar. The soil settles the roots begin to grow, and life goes on.