I want to talk about Surrender. Sometimes in life we have absolutely no control over our circumstances. The only thing that we can do is surrender to what is. Control is a funny thing because it seems to be in our nature to have to control our environment and everything that is around us. However when control is lost, surrendering is the only thing left to do.
My current experience of Surrender….
Currently I am in the process of selling my family home. My partner and I separated almost 2 years ago. The last thing left to make our separation final has been to sell our home. The selling our home has been an emotional time, filled with nostalgia and sadness. My home has been such a sanctuary for me over the past 9 years. It has been the one place that has kept me grounded and has given me a sense of safety. As my house went on sale this week, fear and panic for the future began to set in.
A few months ago I made the bold decision to move interstate to Melbourne. Since this decision I have woken regularly in the middle of the night in a state of panic. Terror has become a part of my daily existence. Despite pushing on with the decision to move, I am still left feeling completely out of control and frightened. The only thing I have been able to do over these last months is to surrender.
Surrender to the knowing that the universe has my back. The universe is supporting me make this move despite having no home to go to, no job, and no clients to continue with my practice. Any one would say I am a bloody idiot. However in those moments of still and quiet I KNOW that this is the step I need to take for myself, my family and my future.
The Universe Has your Back
Gabrielle Bernstein in her latest book ‘The Universe Has Your Back‘ talks about surrendering, and then some more. Even when you have surrendered, to keep on surrendering and trust that the universe will guide you. She talks about true surrender being in the trust that the universe has a better plan than you do. That you truely surrender when you no longer try to manipulate or force outcomes. True surrender is when you let go of the need to be in control of your life and let the universe do its work.
Learning to trust and surrender has been the only thing I can do in my current situation. Acknowledging my fear and surrendering any way allows me to keep pushing forward, trusting, surrendering, moving, and trusting some more. Without this, and without courage and bravery I would remain just as I am, where I am, in a state of stuckness, rather than surrender to a state of flow.
I trust a home will come to me. I trust too the right employment will show itself at the right time. Most importantly I surrender to what the universe has install for me and trust that it knows better than I.